The babysitter candidates always ask why the medical insurance specifically doesn't cover abortions. I just shrug.

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Next time I suck, you fuck'

Next time I suck, you fuck

You love going to the gym now'

You love going to the gym now

Daddy won’t stop 😢'

Daddy won’t stop 😢

Sorry bro she’s occupied'

Sorry bro she’s occupied

She fucked him out of pity but enjoyed it so much that she’s gonna do it again'

She fucked him out of pity but enjoyed it so much that she’s gonna do it again

Your wife and son's best friend'

Your wife and son's best friend

When you two get drunk, your wife lets some stories slip from her past ...'

When you two get drunk, your wife lets some stories slip from her past ...

You losers love it'

You losers love it

Pretty sure she's not on the pill either, right?'

Pretty sure she's not on the pill either, right?

If I'd know how close they were, I'd have married her much sooner!'

If I'd know how close they were, I'd have married her much sooner!

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